Surrogacy Timeline

We've talked about surrogacy for years due to my heart condition, but it was always just a pipe dream. We thought it would cost $30-$50K (much more than adoption) and just couldn't afford it.

My BFF is pregnant at the time and offers to, at some point in the future, carry a baby for us. We are very touched but also not sure how concrete it is. Plus she wouldn't do it for two years.

August 2011 - go see an infertility doctor in Boston for a second opinion regarding my miscarriages and if there's anything we can do. She tells us that in a perfect world we should do surrogacy. Only thing is, she tells us, it doesn't *just* cost $50K, it costs closer to $80K. We proceed to choke and leave, dejected.

September 2011 - In a conversation about infertility with my inlaws, they SUGGEST going down the surrogacy route. We shake our heads and say we can't afford it. They offer to help us. We are completely shocked.

October/November 2011 - Do a little research on surrogacy. Find out it's unenforceable in NYS so we must go outside of the state. Luckily we live pretty close to 3 other states that all allow surrogacy. Learn about an agency in Boston that works with the hospital I go to for my heart and decide to go through them to find a surrogate.

November/December 2011 - After filling out a questionnaire with our agency, we receive 2 profiles of surrogates to look at. One just doesn't mesh with our beliefs at all. The other one seems totally perfect for us.

December 2011 - The "perfect" surrogate backs out because of two upcoming vacations in the next 6 months. We keep looking and are given a 3rd profile to look at. This surrogate refuses to give birth at the hospital we want, and will cost $10K more than the others because she's done surrogacy before, so we pass.

January 2012 - The "perfect" surrogate tells our agency her vacations are getting cancelled if we are still interested in working with her! We are! We set up a face-to-face meeting at her home to meet her, her husband, and 3 kids. We hit it off and decide to work together!

February 2012 - We get some potentially devastating news. The infertility doctor in Boston who originally suggested doing surrogacy to us all of a sudden is unsure whether it's my eggs or my uterus that is the problem (we have unexplained recurrent miscarriage). We've already shelled out close to $20K to get started with the surrogate and it may all be for nothing. We decide to move forward since we've already spent all this money but do PGD on the eggs before we put them in the surrogate to make sure it's not an egg issue.

March 2012 - Our surrogate gets her IUD taken out and starts on the Nuvaring. I start taking BCP.

April 2012 - Pre-screening for the cycle commences and L and I undergo genetic testing to do PGD later on.

May 2012 - Our surrogate starts taking her lupron injections May 9th, and estrogen May 18th. I start my own lupron injections May 19th.

June 2012 - Fastest stims ever also lead to one of our worst cycles (in terms of eggs) ever. Retrieval happens 6/10 but only 8 eggs are retrieved. Only 6 are mature and only 3 fertilize. All 3 make it to a day 3 transfer, and per our RE's recommendation, we transfer all three into our surrogate.

June 25, 2012 - We learn she's been getting positives since June 22! First beta: 871! Second beta 2181! Oh boy, how many are there?

July 10, 2012 - First u/s scheduled (approx. 6w2d). We have three heartbeats! (115bpm, 118bpm, 122 bpm - measuring 3.9mm, 4.6mm, 4.6mm)

July 24, 2012 - Second u/s scheduled (approx. 8w2d).Still have 3 heartbeats! (173bpm, 182bpm, 182bpm, measuring 17mm, 19mm, 19mm) Carrier says she will not carry 3 babies to term because of risks. I can't bear the thought of losing one of my babies, we've already lost so much.

August 9, 2012 - NT scan early because carrier won't carry all 3 babies. We do selective reduction on one of the babies. I am crushed.

August 16, 2012 - 11w4d - officially the farthest we've ever made it. So my eggs are fine, it's just my body that doesn't seem to keep my babies alive. I am still in mourning.

September 17, 2012 - Gender reveal ultrasound at 16w1d - TWIN GIRLS!!! I am shocked! Totally thought it would be two boys.

September 29, 2012 - Gender reveal party for our close friends. So much fun!

October 8, 2012 - 19w1d - My birthday. And I totally let the cat out of the bag that we're having twins.

October 15, 2012 - 20w1d - Anatomy scan and fetal echoes come back picture perfect. And we have confirmed girls.

October 19-23 - Babymoon in Colorado. Horseback riding, hot springs soaking, it was so much fun.

October 27, 2012 - We buy cribs.

November 4, 2012 - Nursery is finally fully painted.

November 8, 2012 - Carrier is diagnosed with Pemphigoid Gestationis.

November 15, 2012 - Carrier fails 1 hour glucose tolerance test. Swears it's because she had a PB&J while drinking the sugar drink. Wants to retake.