Beta is In

These last two days have been the longest ever. I actually found out the news yesterday by pestering Gabby (not really, but there was a flurry of emails back and forth) but wanted to wait to post until I found out for sure today.

Can you guess? Probably. We have a BFP!

Yesterday I was practically having an anxiety attack just thinking about things. She never responded to my reply email the day before and I really wanted to know if she was planning to test before the beta or just wait for the beta. So I decided to be a PITA and just ask her straight out. Her reply:

You tell me what you want... it's your babies and you should be able to choose that!  I have one so I can take it, or I can wait so that we're 100% sure tomorrow.  I'm not sure why they would worry that if I had a positive urine test that somehow that could be wrong but I'm not the expert.  If the embryos were in you, what would you do?  I'm MORE than happy to do today, or to wait!

Ha ha! I told her she didn't know me too well yet because if the embryos were in me, I probably would have tested the previous 5 days in a row! I just couldn't believe she hadn't tested yet! Who could wait that long? In fact, I didn't believe it. So I responded by asking her to tell me if she had tested already and just wasn't telling me, OR if she really hadn't tested to test tomorrow before the beta because I wanted to hear the news from her and not Susan.

Silence on her end. And then a phone call.

In which she told me that she'd been testing since Friday and was getting BFPs since then! OMG! I have no sticks to look at, no symptoms to tell anyone about, but we have a BFP! She actually said she tried to test the previous Tuesday (which was like 6dpo- so ridiculous - ha!) it was negative, so she made herself wait till Friday.

What a relief! I didn't need to start BCPs again, no more hormones (for now). I'm so at the bottom of my strength, I needed some good news. But we still had to wait for beta today.

As soon as I heard the news, I felt so relaxed. Like all I had was adrenaline keeping me going, because I got so sleepy after that. And then I started to feel really sick - freezing and chills. By the time I got home I checked my temperature and had a fever of 101F! What the heck? And I was so glad those babies weren't in me!! We were going to celebrate the news that night with a bottle of ice wine but I spent the whole night in bed. Then I woke up this morning feeling better (not 100% but no fever at least) so I came to work. So weird!

She went in for beta and then we've been emailing all morning waiting to hear what it would be! I knew it would be positive, but hoped for a good number. At least 50, but I wanted 75.

Susan called around 12:30-1pm. Beta is 871. At 16dpo.

OMG.

We put back THREE, if you remember. That's what Dr. A wanted. With my twins, my first beta (at 14dpo) was 177. Even doubling that for 16dpo would still put you under 400.  But you know me, I've done some googling already, and it seems like this is most likely twins. In fact, Susan said to me, even before giving me the number, "I wonder how many are in there!" I've seen from googling there are even some singletons who were in the 800s at 16dpo, but triplets seem to garner even higher numbers, though nothing is set in stone. And of course, we need to see if that number doubles on thursday. But as of today, my best guess is that two stuck!

Oh my God! What a relief! And we're not telling anyone for quite some time this time. No one in our family. so this is really as far as I'm going to get in being able to tell people!

So now, we wait some more. First for another beta on Thursday, and then they said the first U/S would be July 9th.

I am not happy about that. Gabby is because it's her day off so it makes things easy. But 7/9 is only 6w1d - they probably can't even see a heartbeat by then! And that's going to freak me out so much. We're not going to that U/S I think. I can't deal with it (not seeing a heart beat)...but at least we'll know how many sacs we have at that point though.

Wait, wait, then some more waiting. But wahoo for today!

Beta Day

Moved my beta up to today, as it was scheduled for 7am tomorrow. I already knew it was going to be negative, why wake up extra early just to find that out? This way I get to sleep in tomorrow.

As thought, it was BFN. HCG was 0.3. Wow...they didn't take at all. My E2 was over 800 and my P4 was 19, so I know those were both good levels. I know my body pretty well - and I felt NOTHING. I didn't even waste my last pee stick!

So...that's it..onto...I don't know what. Do I stay locally and try a cycle with the local team? do I go down to NYC where they have much better success rates (but I would need to use FMLA because I can't make that commute during stims?) I don't know. I am done for at least the next month though. My 33rd birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I might as well be drinking and eating sushi during it. I'll continue to work on my weight loss (now down over 11 lbs in the last month, thank you Jenny Craig), and somehow figure it out.

I said a little prayer for my embies...off to join everyone else. Momma loves you.

Beta Day

I was praying for over 50.

I was ok with over 25.

It's 177.

Progesterone is 37, E2 is 750 (I'm not sure how much E2 really matters).

Beta #2 is scheduled for Friday. I need to double. Please let me double. This is where the real fear lies.

If it doubles on Friday I may start to believe that this is real.