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I don’t know what to write. I am seeing a counselor on Thursday. I know all I will do is cry. I don’t think it will do much because I’m just one big self-pitier.

My LP only lasted 13 days last cycle. That was a total surprise. I knew AF was coming but since I’ve started tracking, almost 2 years at this point, I’ve had a 15 day LP EVERY. Single. Time. With the exception of the month after my first miscarriage – it was ony 8 days – hormones were totally nutso.

So I’m *guessing* that last cycle,with the follicle being 21mm at CD 5, and Oing either CD 8, 10, or 11 (still not positive) my hormones/body was really screwed up, and possibly a reason why I didn’t get pregnant – the egg or the hormones were just too wacky.

Whatever, I gotta tell myself something, even if it’s probably not true.

I had my CD3 b/w on Friday, and they told me I had a 12mm cyst. At this point, I don’t believe them with cysts anymore. If my b/w had been off, they would have told me though, so since they didn’t call me, I started taking Femara again Friday night.

The first month on Femara I had a 13 mm cyst on CD2, and when I came back a week later had an 18mm follicle. so I’m hoping this is similar this month. Of course, I hope it doesn’t screw me up for next cycle.
I meet again with  my RE on October 26th. At that point, I’m presuming the next step will be IVF. Unfortunately, my current insurance under DH doesn’t cover it, so I will have to switch to my own insurance through my job in November, and it’s not effective until January. So we’ll have to wait until January to do IVF. Sigh…

I guess we’ll just keep doing IUIs in the meantime.

I’m trying DESPERATELY to get my mind onto other things, any thing. I’ve pretty much stopped reading the WW board, because I just get bombarded with TTC/baby, whatever. I change the channel when POAS commercials or anything related to pregnancy comes on (Jesus H. Christ there are so many!) …FB has gotten a little better. I don’t know if people are more cognizant or block me from pictures or what, but it’s not so painful anymore.

I’m starting an online business in a few weeks, selling my homemade detergent and other things.
We put in a contingent offer on that 9 acre home yesterday. We offered $100K less than they were asking, but after doing comps with our realtor, realized they were asking a ridiculous amount. I still think they’ll be pissed and say no, but we had to try. If we could end up with the house for less than we bought our condo for, that would be FREAKING AWESOME.

So lots of things happening…we’ll see.

I want a new house so I can get a dog.

I’m so random.

And I guess I found stuff to write about.

It's Go Time

I did OPKs all this weekend, and even this morning, even though I had a follicle check at 9am.  All negative.  Bah. So I went for my follicle check, hoping against hope that it wasn’t a fluke, that my 18 didn’t turn out to be a cyst after all, or that my follicle quit growing.

Nope, almost 24 today. I should be getting a surge any moment now.  They took blood again to see if it’s started, and if not, I’m to go ahead and give myself the trigger shot at 6:30pm tonight.  Or rather, DH will, as I cannot give myself needles.  I can take any needle you give me, just can’t do it myself.  Then, IUI is scheduled for Wednesday if it hasn’t started, or will be tomorrow I think, if it has.

I will “O” on CD 14, this means – textbook perfect.  I haven’t O’d on CD14 since the month after I went off BC, the month DH and I first got pregnant.

And it will be way in advance of this weekend.  Hurray!!

Follicle Check - Take 1

I finished taking the Femara last night.  7 days of that vs. 5 days of Clomid, I’m not a fan. Plus I had headaches every single day.  But, it’s over.

Went in for my first follicle check this morning at the RE.  Right side, one follicle, size 10mm.  Ok, I thought, that’s not bad. For CD 9, I’ll definitely take it. Problem is, I’m most likely going to O over next weekend while we’re away then. Grr…

Then, on my left side…size 18.  What?  The technician thinks it might be a cyst, which makes sense.  I had two big follicles last month and know I O’d from my right side, which means the left one never did, and probably turned into a cyst. The thing is, I had a U/S last Friday and it was mentioned I had a small cyst on my left, but nothing this size.

So I also had bloodwork done and they’ll call me later to tell me what the plan is.  I don’t think it’ll affect anything if it is a cyst, but man do I wish I had a real follicle that was already a size 18!

Nope

I’m sure it will come as no great shock to you to learn that AF came exactly as scheduled yesterday morning.

Starting my first cycle with the RE.  Hoping to do our first IUI this month.  The problem is that I should be Oing (if I O on a normal schedule, which I never know if I will) Labor Day weekend, which me and DH are going away for.  So for the first time ever, I am hoping that I O a few days later than “normal” because I want an IUI.

Saw the RE for my CD3 (even though it’s CD2) bloodwork and baseline work up today.  Taking Femara starting tonight through next Thursday, then have another doctor appt. next Friday.  Knowing my body, my follicles will still be teeny tiny at that point.

I was a mess earlier this week. I’m doing better now.  Tomorrow my brother gets married.  I’m planning to drink until I make myself sick.  Hmm…maybe not doing so much better.