Monday, October 18, 2010

No Title

I don’t know what to write. I am seeing a counselor on Thursday. I know all I will do is cry. I don’t think it will do much because I’m just one big self-pitier.

My LP only lasted 13 days last cycle. That was a total surprise. I knew AF was coming but since I’ve started tracking, almost 2 years at this point, I’ve had a 15 day LP EVERY. Single. Time. With the exception of the month after my first miscarriage – it was ony 8 days – hormones were totally nutso.

So I’m *guessing* that last cycle,with the follicle being 21mm at CD 5, and Oing either CD 8, 10, or 11 (still not positive) my hormones/body was really screwed up, and possibly a reason why I didn’t get pregnant – the egg or the hormones were just too wacky.

Whatever, I gotta tell myself something, even if it’s probably not true.

I had my CD3 b/w on Friday, and they told me I had a 12mm cyst. At this point, I don’t believe them with cysts anymore. If my b/w had been off, they would have told me though, so since they didn’t call me, I started taking Femara again Friday night.

The first month on Femara I had a 13 mm cyst on CD2, and when I came back a week later had an 18mm follicle. so I’m hoping this is similar this month. Of course, I hope it doesn’t screw me up for next cycle.
I meet again with  my RE on October 26th. At that point, I’m presuming the next step will be IVF. Unfortunately, my current insurance under DH doesn’t cover it, so I will have to switch to my own insurance through my job in November, and it’s not effective until January. So we’ll have to wait until January to do IVF. Sigh…

I guess we’ll just keep doing IUIs in the meantime.

I’m trying DESPERATELY to get my mind onto other things, any thing. I’ve pretty much stopped reading the WW board, because I just get bombarded with TTC/baby, whatever. I change the channel when POAS commercials or anything related to pregnancy comes on (Jesus H. Christ there are so many!) …FB has gotten a little better. I don’t know if people are more cognizant or block me from pictures or what, but it’s not so painful anymore.

I’m starting an online business in a few weeks, selling my homemade detergent and other things.
We put in a contingent offer on that 9 acre home yesterday. We offered $100K less than they were asking, but after doing comps with our realtor, realized they were asking a ridiculous amount. I still think they’ll be pissed and say no, but we had to try. If we could end up with the house for less than we bought our condo for, that would be FREAKING AWESOME.

So lots of things happening…we’ll see.

I want a new house so I can get a dog.

I’m so random.

And I guess I found stuff to write about.

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