Monday, October 24, 2011

Paper Pregnant

We are "paper pregnant" or whatever the term is for finishing our homestudy. I like the term "on the market" but our SW-from-hell didn't really appreciate it. No sense of humor, that one.

I got through the last homestudy session by literally biting my tongue. Once again she brought up the fact that I cannot handle infertility treatments and adoption at the same time. Honestly, I would much prefer her to just say, "the agency doesn't allow it" because I am a goody-two shoes rule follower and would have no problem saying, "ok." But I don't think it actually is prohibited, which is why she never said that. However, I told her during the first and second meetings that I wouldn't do any fertility treatments once we were getting profiled and apparently it STILL wasn't good enough. She still needed to tell me how I feel ONCE again during our third and last homestudy meeting.

This time, I literally bit my tongue to keep quiet, stared her straight in the eyes so she would think I was listening, blocked out anything she was saying, and concentrated on precisely what color her eyes were. Slate gray, I think. Matches her personality.

But we got through it, and she only spent about 2 seconds looking over the house, so I feel like I cleaned it inside and out for nothing...grr... but it's over, and we're approved, and now we just get to wait. For how long? I have no idea...

L and I did end up calling my agency contact last week because I was so upset about her. The short of our conversation is that we don't have to work with her in the post-adoption placement home visits. So I sucked it up for our last pre-adoption home visit because I'd never have to see her again. I think they did talk to her as well because I could tell she was trying to be nicer. Still, we just didn't click at all.

She told us we should go out and buy a car carrier and pack 'n play because we don't know how much time we'll have if we get called quickly. I'm so hesitant to do that, because I don't want to have baby stuff hanging around (even in a closet) and making me sad. Plus, I want a travel system for the car carrier that I did pick out, but don't want to spend the money right now for no good reason. So I'm torn. I guarantee you if I buy something, it will be well over a year before we get placed, but if I don't, it'll happen quickly and we won't be prepared.


  1. Congrats on getting through the homestudy process! I'm sorry it was such an ordeal. And I say, don't buy something before you are ready. I'm sure, not matter what happens, you'd have a hour to run to Babies R Us, right?

  2. That's great that you don't have to see her anymore, sounds like she was "trying" at the end but still, ugh. Like the above poster said, I'm sure that no matter what happens, you will have an hour to run to Babies R Us. If you are ready sooner than that, maybe ask to store the baby items at a friend's or family members so you don't have to see them until you get the call?

  3. I'm so happy things went well and you don't have to see her again. She is just so rude and assuming.

    Really I can't see it being a big deal to run out and get those last few things.

  4. Well now is where you see my crunchy side come out to play!! Having done just a little bit of looking at baby stuff recently and talking to my two closest friends who are just about to pop, most good baby stuff actually has to be ordered. I don't want to have to run into Baby r' us at the last minute and pick up just anything. I'm a total planner/researcher.

    Unfortunately, this does not seem conducive to adoption. But maybe this will all be moot point anyway and I'll have months and months of notice.

  5. So glad to hear that you are officially done with your homestudy. I remember the relief of that! We're in the waiting phase too- and I also torn about having baby stuff in the house.

    Thinking of you! Let's hope our waits are short!

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