Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Journey Goes On

I'm still here.

Not posting as much as I thought I would. I'm currently waiting for AF to start. I don't know if I ever wrote about getting a prescription for Metformin right before the girls were born. Of all doctors, it was the dermatologist I saw the week before they were induced that told me I should talk to my endocrinologist about it. I called her up and we discussed it and she agreed with my symptoms (that I can't think of specifically now, I'm so tired) that I should probably be on it. So I got it filled before they came and I have been so bad taking it one day here, forgetting the next day, since they came. I am hoping it would help stabilize my cycle a bit, but I can't expect that if I am not good at taking it. Ugh, it's hard to remember.

Today is CD 31, which for me is nothing. After a great cycle (for no discernible reason) that ended in January (it was like textbook perfect 31 days for me) last month it was 37 days again. Still, nothing like the 49 days (and higher) I've had before. So even though I'm not taking the Metformin as much as I should be, I'm kind of hoping it will still help a bit. I guess we'll see how late AF comes.

You would think having two (especially at one time) would put any thought of other babies completely out of my head, and yet it's the opposite. I think I'm partially sad that this will be the only time I get to experience this, which is pathetic because once I would have given my right arm to have the OPPORTUNITY to experience this just once. get a little bit and always want more, I guess.

But instead of thinking about my cycles, now would be the PERFECT time to get on a weight loss program. Because even if I were to magically get pregnant, my weight is hideous and I am very unhealthy. And since I don't want kids 10 months apart, there's no "pressure" right now to get pregnant. I wish I could get it together. I keep googling easy fitness plans on Pinterest and Google but just can't seem to get the motivation.

And even though N was particularly difficult today (she seems to have colic and was screaming much of the day), she was only happy/sleeping cuddling with me and my heart just melted. They may not have been in me for 9 months, but they know who mom is.

1 comment:

  1. Right after having V I went between being blissful and being sad because I knew I might not ever get to experience this again. I wasn't thinking about trying again, and yet I was all the time. I think it's normal, and when you have so much uncertainty over things like we IFers do, it adds a huge knot in our hearts.

    I hope the Metformin helps stabalize things for you. It never did for me, but it did help in so many other ways with my PCOS. I've been on it for years now, and don't plan non going off anytime soon! Good luck adjusting to it, I know that can be a pain.