Thursday, May 9, 2013

Full Circle

I just took a look back at last year's posts around this time. I was just starting my lupron for the cycle that resulted in my two little beauties. I was completely anti-Mother's Day and so bitter I spent the day in bed.

The year before that I was pregnant with twins. I miscarried at the end of May.

The year before that I'd just had an M/C in April and was in a Clomid cycle.

The year before that (pre-blog) was a few months after my first ever M/C.

We just received a check back from the surrogacy agency for the amount of money left in the IOLTA fund. Gabby is fully compensated and all bills paid. We are DONE with surrogacy.

And in its wake, we have these girls, and I am a mom.

Full circle. In one year.

I know in this respect we've been extremely lucky. Lucky that it worked the first time, that my eggs were good enough that even though we only got 3 out of that last IVF cycle, it all was successful in the end.

It's amazing to think this journey is over.

The girls are almost 15 weeks now (really 14.5) and each week is getting easier. They are currently on their backs in the same crib staring at the mobile. (That is a feat in itself, they hate being on their backs in the crib unless it's bedtime. :)  I realize I treat them more like siblings that are the same age than "twins" - I don't know if I've ever put them in the same outfit even. My mom, who apparently always wanted twins so much she tried to dress me and my 8 year younger sister the same when I was 11(!!!) does not understand this and tries to buy everything the same, but to me they are so different. If they were identical that might make it easier to do so.

This week is the first week I thought I might be able to go to work. I really don't know how women do it at 6 weeks! I am glad I still have another 2 months to go - maybe I can enjoy the spring/early summer!!

I'll admit it, after years of hating Mother's Day, this year I am very excited for it. It feels like a victory lap.

But this is what I'll be posting on FB on Mother's Day.

http://messymiddle.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/an-open-letter-to-pastors-a-non-mom-speaks-about-mothers-day/

6 comments:

  1. It makes me happy to see this post! I love seeing the full circle realization. You are amazing and are definitely a motivation for me to keep going. Happy Very Well Deserved Mother's Day to you friend!

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  2. It's truly amazing how much changes in a year. Sometimes not good, but sometimes wonderful things happen <3 I hated Mother's Day so much, but last year (our first with V) I found myself really excited too.

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  3. I can't wait until we finally have a baby at home and I can look back and be like, "these last 5 years were complete hell, but we made it through." Glad to hear everything has come so full circle for you:)

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  4. Happy Mother's day! I loved the post you linked to.

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  5. I'm happy for you. You have gone through a lot in these five years. You deserve the happiness of twin girls now! Could you please share the pictures of your girls?

    Best Wishes
    Kunik Goel
    Surrogacy In India

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