One of the best things I've ever read on infertility and Mother's Day. From http://inconceivablebook.com/blog/ivf/dear-infertile-friend-my-mothers-day-gift-for-you/
Dear Infertile Friend,
I wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you this Mother’s Day. Of
course, I think of you every day, but on this day, which I know is
particularly difficult for you, I want you to know that you’re in my
heart. I imagine, at times, it may seem that I’m oblivious to your
struggles. As if somehow I’ve forgotten what it was like to stand in
your shoes. I assure you, I haven’t. In fact, I’ll never, ever forget
what it was like to walk the very lonely and scary path of infertility.
I acutely remember when Mother’s Day was a reminder of everything I
wasn’t, instead of a celebration of everything I ever wanted to be.
In honor of Mother’s Day I want to give you a gift. A gift I hope
you’ll treasure. It’s not a magic bullet. I don’t have one of those.
Instead, it’s a promise—actually a few promises. Promises that I hope
will sustain you through your journey.
I promise not to give you unsolicited advice about conceiving. I
know you are relaxing. That stress isn’t the problem and a vacation
isn’t the answer. I’m also very aware that how it finally worked for me
(or my cousin or my neighbor or my grandma’s friend’s great-niece)
probably isn’t the cure for you. I’ll never assume I have the answer to
your prayers…I promise.
I promise not to complain about my kids in front of you. We all
know that raising children is challenging. I’m also aware you’d give
your left arm to be knee deep in messy diapers and snotty noses.
There’ll be no child-related venting to you…I promise.
I promise to include you in our family related activities and
understand when you decline. I know you love my family. I also
understand being around little ones can be hard for you right now. I’ll
be sad that you’re not there, so I’ll continue to pray fervently for
your miracle…I promise.
Most importantly, I promise to be here when you need me. I’ll
listen empathetically and squeeze your hand for encouragement. Lean on
me when you need to—my shoulders will hold you up and my love for you
will catch your tears. I’ll walk through this with you, admiring your
bravery every step of the way…I promise.
Please accept this Mother’s Day gift. It’s a reminder that even
though at times I may say or do the wrong thing, I know, in the depth of
my soul, that you would make a terrific mother. I can’t wait for the
day when we can celebrate this occasion differently. Until then, please
remember you are not alone, my friend. Whatever—whenever—just say the
word. I WILL be your biggest cheerleader…I promise.