Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Plan

Not being on any meds this month is doing wonders for my emotional state.  Sure, I still get upset, I’m still bitter, I still wish I had gotten my lap last month as planned or done a med cycle, but I’ve stopped temping and I’m enjoying it.

I will not enjoy it next Weds. when I get AF however. And yes, before you ask (not that “you’re” asking of course, but the invisible “you” in my head, apparently) we did try. So yes, it’s technically possible.  But don’t be like my now pregnant officemate who keeps telling me to stop being a sourpuss because maybe I’m pregnant.  Shut it, chica. Just because you’re pregnant after 2 months doesn’t mean that magically I will be after all this time.  Yea, I know all about the stories where cousin A or Aunt B quit trying and decided to adopt and wham! got pregnant that very month, but have you met me? That kind of stuff doesn’t happen in my life.

I do now, vaguely, have a plan going forward. It’s not crystallized yet, but it’s more crystallized than it was even a few days ago.

You’ll (again with that invisible “you”. I have no idea who I’m talking to here) recall that my new insurance that covers IVF (but not much else; it’s going to be a beast) doesn’t start until January 20th. I’m due to get AF on December 15th.  Which means that on a “normal” month, I would likely not get AF again until January 19th. (I have longer cycles, on a good month.)

Sounds perfect right?

Except next month isn’t a normal month. Because my RE royally effed up my surgery scheduling last month I’m due to get my lap done on 12/21. Now, every time I have any medical procedure whatsoever, my body freaks out, and refuses to ovulate for eleventybillion days.

Me: WTF is wrong with you? It’s CD45. Can you please ovulate so I can get on with my life and possibly have a baby before I’m 50 years old?

Body: STFU. No.

Which most likely means I won’t get my period till the end of February.
Oh hell no.  Not doing it.

Now, I’ve learned my lesson with my RE’s office. I trusted them to do their job and didn’t “manage” them like I do most doctors (which is very anally, since they very rarely do what they’re supposed to do).  And I got burned. So no more.  I called to find out how I could get IVF scheduled ASAP after 1/20/11 so I didn’t “waste” any more time.

RE’s office: Well, you can’t start any cycle until after 1/20 so even if you get your period on 1/19/11 I’m sorry you’re SOL until the next one.

Me: Um, that can’t be right. You can’t work with me on this?

RE’s office: Well, maybe. You should talk to your nurse.

So I call up Cayce, and the conversation with HER goes something like this:

Me: Hi Cayce, is there any way we might be able to start me off on an IVF cycle if I get AF a few days before Jan. 20th?

Cayce: Um, I dunno. You need to talk to the IVF Coordinator Jen.  But you can’t talk to her until you take the IVF orientation class.

Me: Ok, well, can I sign up?

Cayce: Sure. That’ll be $50.

Me: What? Ok….when is the next one?

Cayce: Um…one tomorrow. One in three weeks. But they get cancelled often.

Me: *(#&$%%#((%&(&#^&@)!!!! Ok, please sign me up.

So DH and I went to the session yesterday, with two other couples and 1 single lady (or at least she didn’t come with a partner).

I have to say, it’s kind of nice being with people in the same situation as we are.  I mean, I don’t know if it’s the same situation.  Maybe they have male factor, or high FSH or something – something more than what we have, which is nothing, as of this moment in time, but all of us want a baby and none of us have one.  Wow, I really think misery is company, huh?

We sat through an hour and half of the IVF coordinator who looked to be close to my age, but spoke like she was in high school. I wanted to kill her.

Coordinator: Well, like, then you take the shot, and then, like, you like, just have to chill because like, you have to have patience.

Fuck you lady. You have no idea what patience is until you’ve been at this for two years.

Then we got 45 minutes of the RE giving us the minute by minute walkthrough and telling us horror stories.

RE: So this doesn’t happen often, but there is the possibility your ovaries, which are the size of walnuts normally, could swell to the size of basketballs.

You think I’m kidding you? I shit you not. He actually said that.

Well, on that happy note, DH and I went out for Chipotle to make up for it.

So today I called the Coordinator, Jen.  I still can’t stand her. But we’ve worked this plan out:

1. AF comes on 12/15.
2. Go in for CD3 b/w. Start taking birth control pill.
3. Surgery 12/21.
4. Stop taking BCP 12/23.
5. AF comes again within a few days(does it work like that?? I might need to call back and make sure of that) and I start a new cycle. Bwahaha! I have foiled my eleventy billion day cycle!
Now, my insurance won’t kick in till 1/20. But rather than waste the time, start doing injectables. Do IUI (it apparently has double the “success rate” as IUI with Clomid OR Femara. If that doesn’t work, we’ll be past 1/20 and can start doing IVF.

I wanted to come as close to 1/20 as I could. I think this will put me a few days past it, but in return, I get another cycle, after the lap. I hope the lap will do the trick, personally.

Now I just have to hope AF comes quickly after stopping BC. I’m not sure it will.

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