Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Welcome ICLWers

Hi ICLWers and welcome to my blog. I have bullet points to my "story" down the side of my blog, but it's really long by this point so let me give you a summary here.

DH and I have been married since 2007 (we were high school sweethearts who dated a looonng time before getting married) and trying to have a child since 2008. In that time I've had 5 pregnancies (or really 4, but one was twins) and have miscarried all, the most recent being twins at 11 weeks in June. I've been tested for recurrent loss to no avail, and the D&C genetic testing showed chromosomally normal boys, so all doctors are stumped. As you can imagine, this has been very hard for us.

I am currently towards the end of a 2ww for my first FET. Today is 12dpo and I'm pretty sure it didn't work. I had two 2BB thawed embies transferred last week and today I got a BFN on a FRER. It just feels like I can't catch a break.

We also started the adoption process back in February, but it was on hold for a few months when we last got pregnant. However, since losing the last pregnancy, we kicked it into high gear and just got matched with a social worker to write our homestudy. Our first meeting will be next week, and it looks like if everything goes smoothly our profile will be ready to present by November 1st!

I am hopeful one way or another we will have a baby within the next year, but the length of time and heartbreak that has gone on has really made me a much sadder person. I don't think I will ever begin to reclaim myself until I have a child one way or another though, so we keep trying. Not trying means not getting to where I want to be.

Thanks for reading!


  1. Here from ICLW
    I'm so sorry for your losses. As a fellow RPLer, I relate. Good luck with the adoption process, and here's hoping for a great year for you!

  2. Hello from ICLWland. Wishing you lots of luck on your journey!

  3. So sorry for all of your losses. This is such a difficult and heartbreaking journey. I hope things go smoothly and that you do have your profile ready to present by Nov. 1. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog.

  4. Here from ICLW. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way during this part of your journey!

  5. Hi from ICLW. I am so sorry that your road to baby has been filled with so many obstacles. Best of luck with this FET. I'm getting ready to do mine in October.

  6. Hi from ICLW. Thank you for your comment on my blog! I do think we might be twins separated at birth! :) I look forward to following your story. Also- Love your blog background- I had a very similar one for some time on my blog, too! Hoping we both find our miracles very soon.

  7. Here from ICLW! I am sorry to hear that the little totsicles didn't stick.

    In your last post you mentioned that you wouldn't feel normal until you had a baby. I found that true in my case. We opted to use an egg donor because we were ready to close the door on our infertility journey.

    Best of luck in your journey! #20

  8. Here from ICLW. My heart just aches because I remember all to well how much of yourself you lose in this process (and your struggle has been so much longer than mine, so I can only imagine). I hate that you are going through this and I have only "known" about you for a matter of seconds.