Transfer

I have a blog award that I am grateful for and need to post about but will do in a separate post later. I had transfer yesterday and it turns out that only 3 out of 11 embies made it to day 5 and one of those was actually a morula, so I don't even know if it'll make it to freeze. All that drama and all that pain (hyperstim) for almost nothing.

We ended up putting back 2 even though we had talked about putting back only 1 if we had many good ones to choose from. But in the end we only had a 3AA (which looked pretty darn good) and a 2BB which didn't look that good so we just did both.

I'm not having high hopes. I stayed home all day yesterday (different from my first two IVF cycles) and laid in bed because I'm still not feeling great and ended up throwing up later in the day. Man, I cannot get back to normal yet. Today I'm still a little bit better and my cotton mouth is to a more manageable status, though I'm still drinking a ton. I've barely eaten this week which would be a good thing except that I've drank my calories down - all "real" gatorade, Sprite, milkshakes, etc. Any COLD, super cold, liquid has been like gold to me.

So I've got my two embies in me, but I don't feel any connection. I always have before, treated my embies like their my babies already even before a positive pregnancy test. My stomach is still bothering me, I've done nothing all week (at work or at home) and I'm generally just blah. I don't want to have to do another IVF cycle, and it looks like we will if went end up going to the surrogacy route.

I'm not in the Christmas mode this year at all. We were going to go Christmas tree shopping last week until I was so sick I couldn't move and I have a baby shower to attend for my best work friend this Saturday and I kind want to just say f*ck it. I wish L and I could just wisk ourselves off to a caribbean location for christmas and new years and not be forced to think about any baby stuff.