Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Dr. Obvious

Boston doc (we'll call her Dr. Obvious) is no Dr. Mike. This is what I've concluded after the run around we've gotten in the last week or so. Dr. Mike would NEVER have given me the run around and then made me wait a week to understand what was going on. As my BFF said, it's almost unethical.

We had our conversation with her today. We because this time L was on it, since I clearly can't be trusted to remember to say anything on my own.

Do you know what this whole thing basically boiled down to?

She just wants us to know that surrogacy MAY not work for us. Because we have unknown infertility. It's not clearcut. There's nothing that says it's my eggs or his sperm or my uterus or anything. And therefore, it may be something that surrogacy can't fix.

Well, thank you Dr. Obvious. We had no idea this might possibly not work. We thought we were 100%-guaranteed-take-that-to-the-bank coming home with a baby.

It seems to me it's a big ol' case of cover your ass.

I mean, what did she really think? That if our surrogate didn't get pregnant we were going to sue her (the doctor) or something?

So frustrating.

So yes, it's not guaranteed. Never thought it was. And that's what it boils down to.

But I think we're going to do PGS going forward anyway. She suggested we could save money and try PGS and put them directly into me and SEE if that works. But money isn't the only thing that comes into play with that. I just can't handle another miscarriage right now. Maybe in another year or two, but the last one just put me on a fragile emotion train ride I can't get off of right now. I think we should do PGS and still put them in Gabby. That will take out two unknown factors - the embryos will be "good" and Gabby's "perfect" uterus. It still may not work but then I have truly done everything physically possible in this world. And if it works out and we want another one in the future, I can always try with any remaining frozen ones.

So the only issue will be if PGD finds there are ZERO good embryos. Then we're up the creek without a paddle. But that's a chance I'm willing to take at this point.

All systems go. I emailed Gabby and she's getting her IUD out next week and will go on Nuvaring. The agency is sending her file to the hospital to start the screening.

I'm ready for some good news. Let's hope this works.


  1. I MAY just have to come there and put a boot up the ass of that doc for making you worry so much.

  2. Yay! Sending lots of good wishes your way that this goes as smoothly as possible. Thank you for sharing your journey.

  3. Can I smack your doctor? It does sound like a bit of cover their asses to me too. Boo to them, what a waste and way to worry you. Grrr...

    So many positive thoughts for going forward.

  4. I've been here, both with the losses and not knowing what way to proceed. I can definitely empathize with being ready to do anything to avoid another loss, even if it involves taking drastic measures. I had a post about it, fresh off my second of my 2 losses, here.

    I'm still at the first step, and a shit load of research has helped discover that just *maybe*, a vitamin D deficiency was the link between my maybe-maybe-not PCOS symptoms, which may in turn have been responsible for crappy eggs. A vitamin D deficiency can also contribute to a dysfunctional immune system = a dysfunctional uterine environment, so who knows.

    Best of luck, will be following your journey!

  5. I really love it when doctors talk to me like I'm a moron. Maybe (maybe) they could be forgiven in my case, but anyone who is aware of your history should also have a clue that you're aware of disappointment, the odds of pregnancy, and that you aren't bringing a pack of shiny unicorns with you to the idea of surrogacy.

    Good luck! Sometimes I feel like just trying something new might help my mental state.

    ICLW #45

  6. Wow, what a journey you are on. Whew... Good luck, I hope things go smoothly and that your embryos look amazing!!! -ICWL # 29 :)

  7. Wishing you the best! The disclaimers and overly cautious warnings really wear on me... ugh. Hope it all goes well! ICLW #27

  8. It's amazing that we don't all run around screaming and crying. This stuff is so hard to navigate. But, it looks like you're heading in the right direction!

    Here from ICLW #78