Thursday, June 17, 2010

Hell Week

Last week was hell week for me, in my personal life. This week is turning into hell week for me at work, but that’s another story.

I was glad, at my first U/S appt. on Monday, that I didn’t have the Ovidrel (trigger shot) on hand.  Fran wanted to give it to me right then (my follicles were at 18) and I really don’t think I was ready. It was similar to last month when they gave me the trigger, and I honestly think it was too early. It may be ok for some people, but not for me.  This was confirmed by my not getting any + OPKs before my U/S on Wednesday.  On that day, my follicles went up to 21, and Fran told me I had to get the trigger shot THAT day.  I still didn’t have the Ovidrel on hand, and it has to go through my insurance and a whole different pharmacy (Freedom Fertility) and takes a day to get to me.  She said I HAD to get it Wednesday because it was clear I wasn’t going to ovulate on my own, so therefore it would be a totally wasted month if I had an anovulatory cycle.

Well of course that threw me into a downward spin.  Not ovulate at all?  Given the Clomid I took, the estrogen I was on, the SHG I underwent – all of that for NOTHING???  I tried to get the trigger shot earlier, but I couldn’t. I was even willing to pay for it out of pocket ($105 vs. $35 through my insurance) but no pharmacy locally keeps it in stock.  I ordered the trigger shot to come Thursday but Fran said it was too late and my OBGYN wouldn’t give it to me.  I even debated giving myself the shot, because I wanted to ovulate so badly, but it had gotten shipped directly to my OBGYN so that was out.  I was miserable Weds. night thinking everything I had undergone was for nothing and I would have to wait another 45 days for another shot.

So Thursday I go to work, I pee on another OPK, and it’s almost positive. This from a definite negative the day before.  What’s this? My body is gearing up?  I jump for joy, relief, and call my OBGYN to schedule an IUI, even though I don’t really trust them anymore.  But they tell me they can only do it at 9am the next day.

Well, one of my best friend’s mother died on Monday.  Friday at 10am was the service, and it was 2 hours away.  There was no way I could be at the OBGYN at 9am. So I call them and beg if I can come back in the afternoon to have it done. They tell me yes, and to call around 12:30pm to schedule a time.
In the meantime, I take another OPK that night and it is utterly and completely positive. In fact, for the first time ever, my line was DARKER than the control line.  Usually it gets to be the same, but never this dark. I was surging on my own and all the BS that my OBGYN’s office put me through telling me I wasn’t going to ovulate on my own was exactly that – BS.

So, Friday I go down to my friend’s mother’s funeral.  Precisely at 12pm I call my OBGYN’s office. She tells me it’s been determined that it’s just too late to do the IUI, so don’t bother rushing back.
Every step of the way that week, my OBGYN’s office was wrong. I’m sick of it and so ready to be done with them. Which is great because next month, I’m 100% with the RE.  I feel so much more confident that they know what they’re doing, that they won’t put me through unnecessary stress, and that my “personal” nurse Ali will be able to answer any and all questions in a way that Fran couldn’t.

So I’m now in the 2ww, and hoping against hope that there’s no need for a next month with the RE.  Even though we didn’t do the IUI with my OBGYN, I finally ovulated from my right side (the unblocked one – yeah!), plus there’s nothing wrong with DH’s sperm.  So there’s no reason it shouldn’t work, but of course, I’m trying not to get my hopes up. I do this every month though, and every month I’m thrown into depression when the bad news come.  So…we’ll see what happens.

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