Crushed

I am crushed again.  BFN on 14dpo.  I even managed to not POAS until today.  I didn’t even want to because I was dreading a white stick, but I knew I needed to so I wouldn’t be completely caught off guard when I get the b/w done on Weds.

I wish I didn’t have to work. I have off for Veteran’s Day and I already took off Friday, which is good, but I wish I could just go home.  My coworker who I share an office with (and is also one of my best friends) is on vacation, but I FB’d her this morning since she wanted to know. It’s good, because I don’t have to talk a lot or anything, but work is kind of slow and all it does is give me more time to think.

My temps have been the same for the last 3 days straight. I thought for sure that was a good sign, but I was obviously wrong.  Every month I’m “so sure” and am always wrong.

Well, that’s it for the year.  No more trying.  Surgery is scheduled and that’ll take me out through the end of December.

I just don’t think this is fair.  Haven’t I had enough surgery in my life? Haven’t things been difficult enough for me? Why can’t I just catch a break?

Sometimes I just think God really hates me.