8w3d

Boy, I've really slacked on the writing. Part of it is because I don't have much to write day to day, except continuously talking about fears and such. Part is because L has built himself a new computer, but hasn't installed the scanner yet. And I don't have the drivers on my Mac. So I finally took pictures of the U/S pics I've gotten rather than wait any longer.

The 7w1d U/S of the twins:

So Baby B was on the left and Baby A on the right.

Baby A at 7w1d:

I'm still here, at over 8 weeks now. My next appt. is Weds., when I'll be 9 weeks. It's with the local MFM, and I'm scheduled for another U/S and an NV. What the heck NV means, I have no idea. I know it's not an NT, which is something around 12 weeks I think.

Around 8 weeks, I started to get excited. And then I started to get mad at myself. 8 weeks is still so incredibly early, what are you getting so excited about? Ugh...so now I feel I'm in no-man's land a little bit. I'm scared, but not crying anymore. Just worried. My family knows, and I really don't want to have to tell them bad news again. My husband is getting excited.

I told our counselor that I was only a little over 50% sure I'd come home with a baby. Really, I feel it's closer to 25%, but when I started to say 20% she was like, "really?" (I know, counselors aren't supposed to do that, right?) I guess I'm such an eeyore, I feel like I can't really have that happy ending, right?

But thus far, I'm still here, we're still here. I had some spotting on Thursday and pretty much ran to the RE, even though I've technically graduated. I think part of me was thinking how it was so hard to wait another week to make sure my babies were still alive, and part of me freaked out over the spotting. They got me in right away, and there was no more bleeding, so I felt a little silly. I now think it was left over from DTD with L 2 days previously. It was only the one time, and nothing since. (L and I DTD again this morning, so I'm trying to remind myself if I spot in 2 days to RELAX).

Anyway, the U/S on Thursday was both sad and helpful. It confirmed that Baby B was gone :( He/she was still at 7 weeks. But Baby A was right on target, measuring 1.7 cm - 8w1d perfectly. The HB was 148.4bpm, which the PA said was fine, but I've been looking it up, and it seems slightly slow to me (the minimum I found for 8 weeks was 149). Now I'm a little worried about that.

But the picture was beautiful.

I don't know why, but that head is just the cutest thing to me. Whoa, I'm a crazy pregnant lady.

The last week my symptoms had lightened a little, and I assume it was because of Baby B, but the last two days, M/S has struck with a vengeance. Where the F did that come from? Don't get me wrong, I've had some all along, even vomiting a few times (not that much) but yesterday at 4pm it struck hard, and I crawled into my car at quitting time, drove home, and went to bed. Ugh. But awesome. Strong today too. I'm so ok with it.