Control is a 4 Letter Word

I'm a Type A, control freak. Yup, one of those. I admit it. Probably the only reason my marriage is as strong as it is is because I married a Type B, "whatever happens happens" kind of guy. (Of course, that can sometimes really be frustrating for a Type A like me!)

We're over 25 weeks now and things are supposedly great. Gabby had her GD test on Thursday. I didn't hear back about the results until yesterday when I finally asked her. She told me she failed by 16 points and it was probably because she ate a PB&J sandwich at the same time she drank that stuff. But she doesn't want to take the three hour because, and I quote:

"They are CRAZY! There is absolutely NO way I can fast for 3 hours, that can't possibly be the routine for women pregnant with twins who are as hungry as I am!"

She also told me how if she had to do the 3 hour it would take a few weeks for her to get to the lab to take it so she was going to ask if she could redo the 1 hour without eating this time.

My initial thought was "take a few weeks to get to the lab?" I mean, I really love my carrier, but if you need to take the 3 hour, you don't get to take a few weeks. No offense, but she signed up to do this. I don't want to wait if this needs to be done. I don't want anything happening to my babies. But then again, I know nothing about GD and the risks.

I did talk about this with some of my friends (all of whom have been pregnant at least once, some multiple times, but admittedly none with multiples) who were basically like, "Tough, suck it up, it's only once." about it.

So I tried to email her back saying I was worried and to see if she could take the 1 hour again ASAP and felt blown off by her again.

"Don't worry, I am very careful about my sugars and know all the risks! I've been checking my blood sugars to make sure they're normal [she's an NP who can do that at work] and also have dialed down the sugar/starch in my diet a little, just to be safe! I really feel confident that the test was not accurate. If I didn't get low blood sugars as much as I do then I would be a little more worried. But with diabetes it's an insulin intollerance and you rarely get low blood sugars [as she says she has gotten.] I have no not hear back from them but I have also found different levels. At [another hospital nearby] if the 1 hour is under 180 they consider than normal so I'm not sure if [our hospital] just uses different levels or what. But I will keep on track of it, don't worry we haven't made it this far to risk anything now!!! :)

Ugh...it is so tough not having control!  I'm sure I would have had GD, what with my weight and love of sugar, but I would have been back so fast to get anything taken care of, and it's annoying me that she just won't go get it done. Just do it - when you pass with flying colors you can just chalk it up to one more thing you've had to do with this pregnancy that you never had to do with your own.

I get it that she's just cranky and exhausted and hormonal and BUSY (she is STILL going to the gym - that is crazy to me) and it's just one more thing to do on her list but to me this is important. For the girl who was so worried about her health and carrying three babies that she made me do S/R she doesn't seem to be as concerned about this.

So I just went and tattled because I didn't know what else to do. I thought about calling the doctor's office but no one except the doctor really knows me there and I don't know if they would discuss her with me since they probably don't understand our arrangement. So I called up my surrogacy agency instead because I didn't know where else to go. And it's rough because our person ("advocate") is a personal FRIEND of hers, but she has been super professional with us. I told her what I was going on and she said she'd talk to her (and said she wouldn't say that we spoke, which I hope is the case). I told her (our agency person, M) that I wasn't trying to be a bitch and maybe I'm just paranoid I just don't want anything to go wrong.

So at least I've made it known to them now. I just hope Gabby doesn't hate me for it if she finds out. But I didn't know what else to do. M has seen Gabby recently at someone's birthday party and said she doesn't look gestational diabetic at all (not sure what one looks like), but I also had a friend who took the one hour even though her doctor said, "no worries, you'll pass with flying colors" and then failed it AND the 3 hour, even though she looked totally fine. So who knows? And why not be safe?

It is so hard not having control. Harder than not being pregnant (which is plenty hard by itself, trust me).

ETA: Gabby told me in the email I quoted above that she would get in touch with the doctor's office today and email me when she did. Lo and behold haven't heard anything back so I emailed her back an hour ago (ostensibly to "remind" her if she'd forgotten). Nothing back yet.

And I also wanted to clarify about the "harder than not being pregnant." I didn't mean harder than not being pregnant in general. I meant harder than not being the one who is carrying the babies, as you all know how I've struggled with that. I reread it and it didn't sound right to me.