My computer is acting up and not letting me post ICLW comments, so that will have to wait for tomorrow.
In the meantime, Lupron is definitely making me emotional. I don't think I noticed it in my previous 3 cycles but I also didn't have enough time inbetween them to realize it. I recognize now I'm just feeling generally depressed, anxious, and irritable. I hate feeling like this.
2 blogs I follow just became mothers through adoption. I am so so happy for them. It was like one day they were in my spots, and now I wish I was in theirs. No, not quite like that, but I just want my baby, you know? (And yet, adoption right now would be extremely difficult).
I just want my turn to come. I've waited for so long, when is it my turn?
(This stupid fertility drugs make me so whiny...)
I don't think you're whiney. It's a normal reaction after all. You've waited so long for this. So hoping this surrogacy cycle works out... thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I love how you keep leaving comments for me. It makes me feel not as alone :)
DeleteSorry that the Lupron is making you miserable. I really want your turn to come, too. I am also so happy for all of the new moms, but of course I still feel sad for myself. Those bittersweet feelings are definitely allowed :) I am really excited for you that you are moving forward with the surrogacy plan.
ReplyDeleteI think we have a lot in common! It's true- it's so bittersweet, and half the time I'm mad at myself for feeling jealous, which just sets off a cycle of feeling bad for feeling jealous and ugh!! Just want something good to happen!
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