Self-Medicated

The actual doctor called us this morning. I made L answer the phone because I didn't trust that I could act with courtesy. He apologized for the lack of communication yesterday but insisted that going this slow was fine and he didn't see the need to push up the meds any more.

But I medicated myself last night, with L's help. I just don't believe them. It may work for other people, but this is my 3rd IVF cycle and it is not working for me. So we jacked up the meds on our own last night. Alot. Did the 300 iu of Bravelle (4 vials), up from 2 vials, and added a menopur. Tonight we will go down to 3 vials of Bravelle. But all they had told me to do was add that one menopur.

So tomorrow at my appt. when they ask me about my meds (because they ask what I'm on every time, despite the fact that they know it) I can't lie. I don't want them to think that any growth is due to their stupid dosing.

I guess i just don't see the problem with dosing high for a few days. If it actually was too much, they can always drop my dosage (or I can, since I did it on my own). But honestly, I'm terrified that tomorrow my E2 will STILL be under 300). At that point, I think it's time to shut the whole thing down...

I don't know what they're going to say when I tell them I dosed myself. To be perfectly honest, I'm only going to admit to the 3 I took tonight (the one extra Bravelle vial, instead of 2) and I'm going to blame it on the fact that that stupid nurse I spoke to last evening told me I could take an extra Bravelle if I wanted to. she didn't look anything up, didn't even know what day I was but she said so, so even though it's not in my record to do so, I did it.

FX for tomorrow. Please let me see some growth. Pretty pretty please.