Wednesday, April 18, 2012


No baby for us :( The birth mom picked another couple who lived in OH, like the birth mom did. It feels like no one wants us. When I made out adoption profile book last fall, I thought it was so great - that we would get picked right away. Boy was I wrong.

Yes, I know it hasn't been THAT LONG (will be 6 months at the end of this month) but everything feels like an eternity at this point.

In other news, I'm having new medical issues. I am the winner in the medical lottery, it appears. But Megamillions? No way.

For the last month I've been having awful stomach pain. It's pain right in the middle of my abdomen, just under my rib cage and above my belly button. It got to the point that ANYTHING I ate, whether it was a sip of water or a healthy dinner, made me feel like I'd eaten a 12 course meal and was stuffed to the gills and bloated beyond heck. It was just miserable.

So I went to my PCP and they did bloodwork and apparently found I have h pylori bacteria infection. This can cause ulcers and other things (can even lead to stomach cancer in rare cases) so they gave me about 8 pills a day to swallow for 2 weeks. After 1 week I was feeling so much better. But this weekend, I was in so much pain it wasn't even funny. So back I went today, and rather than do another blood test, he gave me a referral to have an endoscopy done, an ultrasound to rule out it being my gallbladder, and a prescription for N.exium twice a day. He's thinking it may be an ulcer, which N.exium will heal. But I haven't had any burning heartburn or anything at all.

I can't handle anymore invasive procedures so I told him it will be at least July before I get that done. Apparently the only thing to fix an ulcer is to take Nexium for 12 weeks so it may certainly be that long by the time I get around to it. There's just too much going on, driving to Boston often and doing the cycle. Can't. Handle. It.

At least this Friday I'll have the U/S done so we can rule out anything really bad. I am so sick of doctors though.

I ran out of BCP on Friday so I started my placebo week as directed by the Boston nurse overseeing our surrogacy group. Her exact words in an email to me, "Go through placebo week I want a good stim from you." Me too!!

I emailed her today though because I wasn't sure when to start the BCP again. On Sunday, only the second day off the pill, I had about 2 hours of moderately heavy bleeding, (TMI) only when I wiped. It never made it to a pad or anything but wiping it was definitely more than just a little. It was almost like breakthrough bleeding. But 2 hours later it stopped and I haven't had anything since. So I've been waiting for AF to come and emailed Holly the nurse to ask. She told me to consider that my period (best period EVER then) and start the pill again tonight. Good thing I emailed! I'm getting's like we're in the homestretch! At least I hope so, I still don't know exactly when we're starting but we should be ready to go by the end of next week.

Totally exhausted tonight from not sleeping well last night. Hopefully will get some good sleep tonight.


  1. So sorry that the birth mom didn't pick you (*hugs*) Hoping so much for the surrogate cycle. Hope you feel better soon.

  2. I'm so sorry you weren't picked. It does feel like FOREVER doesn't it?? We've been waiting since December 6th, and the only reason we know our profile has even been shown is because I've asked. So, not much motion here. :/
    And I'm sorry about your annoying health concerns! AH! I hope you're able to get good answers.
    And finally, good luck on your surrogate cycle! It's a lot going on at one time! We're crossing our fingers for you! :-)

  3. (Hugs) I am so sorry to hear you weren't picked, and to have to deal with the health issues as well, (double hugs). I am really hoping you catch a break soon, you deffinetly deserve it. Know that I am rooting for you and wishing you all the best. Good luck with this placebo week!

  4. So sorry you weren't chosen. In some ways I was glad through our 18 month wait (for #2) that we never knew when we were being considered. I can imagine there are a storm of emotions that comes with knowing you were looked at and not choosen. I know it's easy for me to say this, because my baby is home already, but the right baby will come to you. The wait will suck so much, but there will be a baby on your arms. ((hugs))

    ICLW 39

  5. Hey there from ICLW, I tried to pose on this last week but my wordpress open ID wudn;t let me or something. So sorry, keep believing, surrogacy or adoption you will have your family :)
    I have given you a blog award! come check it out on my blog. :)