Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Wrapping the Gestational Carrier Journey Up

It's time to start sitting down an attempting to write the biggest thank you note of my life. To Gabby, and her husband, and it's hard to feel like you're writing something meaningful enough to convey the gratitude you have for someone who just made your dreams come true.

I just came across this post from This Journey Known as my Life. She is a gestational carrier who has carried multiple surrobabies for intended parents. And this part just brought tears to my eyes:

I wanted to find the truth so that I would know for myself why I love these families.

I thought about my love for these families that I helped to grow. I didn't start to love them at the end of our journey when they gave me a gift. I didn't start to love them when their child was born. I loved them way before then.

So I went back to the beginning. I thought of my first meeting with each couple. I thought of the words of their stories, the expressions on their faces as they explained to me why they were on the road to surrogacy. I watched the sorrow in their eyes when they spoke of their losses and the love in their eyes when they spoke about falling in love with their spouses. I listened to the passion in their voices as they shared their desire to become parents. I felt their sincerity in their heart, and I saw the light of hope alive in them when they spoke of the possibility that surrogacy would bring them a child.

In each case, I knew right away that I wanted to work with each couple. Why?

It is the human suffering they have endured. The grace with which they accept that they cannot control all things. The strength they have gained through their trials. The love they have for each other. The desire the have to become parents. The hope. I fall in love with these couples. The very first days I meet them. I see my brother and my sister in need, I see their humanity- the grief and the joy and the hope (always hope), and I want to walk with them awhile. I want to carry a child for my sister while she is unable, and I want to absorb some of their strength, and love, and hope, no, patience.

Every moment after that first meeting is just our friendship and our love growing. I do not believe that you can walk a spell with someone through such a personal and emotion riddled journey and not share a part of yourself. I do not think I could work with a couple that I did not feel love toward from that first moment.

That is what I should have told the counselor. That is what I should have told all my IPs.


This wasn't written by Gabby, but when I write my thank you note, I will be responding to this.


  1. That is very well written and deeply personal. I would hope that this is the emotional response of most gestational carriers. Thank you for sharing it.

  2. It is such a sacrifice to be a surrogate; I'm so happy that there are those who do it well and love it - those women are amazing!