Getting Darker

Beta is tomorrow. I have to be there at 7:05am. Ugh. Then I will wait anxiously for the next bajillion hours because they don't seem to call me until around 4-4:30pm, ugh.

I took another FRER this morning in keeping with my every 2 days rule. I was so nervous, but today's looks really good.

Compare the last three sticks (each two days apart):

We saw our infertility counselor for the first time in 3 weeks tonight. She's been in China with her husband or something. Boy was there a lot of catching her up on the craziness that was this past cycle. I also talked a lot about my fear of having another miscarriage. Se made me feel a lot better about my anxiety, telling me she's seen so many women who've been so upset about GETTING pregnant, not wanting the baby, etc., and getting upset and anxious didn't make them lose the baby (even though they probably would have preferred it) so I didn't need to worry that my anxiety over KEEPING this baby would cause any problems either. Perhaps that's a weird thing to tell an infertile, but it actually made me feel better. She gave me the serenity prayer to read over and over again.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I need to work on the first two lines.