Thursday, March 15, 2012

Surrogacy Agreement Part Deux

AF watch: no, still not here. But I feel crampy and like it will be here any day now. Hurray!

One time I did have a 69 day cycle. But that was after my open heart surgery. Kind of makes sense that my body went a bit wacky after that. 55+ days for no reason at all? I don't get it.

L and I had 2 hour phone conversation with our attorney for the surrogacy agreement this morning. Thank goodness a new month of cell phone minutes will be starting soon! It was really good. She was very knowledgeable, well spoken, and listened and agreed with many of our changes.

She told us Gabby gave ridiculously low payment amounts for many of the things contemplated in the agreement. As I wrote yesterday, I can't specifically go into language of the agreement, but for caesarean, ectopic, D&C's - all of these have an amount allocated to them if they happen and apparently the surrogate gets to pick an amount they will be paid in case they do (I didn't know the surrogate picked this until today).

She's also the one who gets to say how much childcare will be in case she needs to go on bed rest or while she's at doctor appointments and our attorney said she must think her au pair or family members will just take care of the children because it is crazy low for 3 kids! There are so many things I would not have contemplated myself so I'm glad we have an attorney who has experience writing contracts like this up. She told us this woman sounds incredible - she makes a lot of money (our attorney of course didn't tell us how much but she needed to submit paystubs in case there are lost wages), has 3 kids, works full time, has an au pair for crissakes, but she still wants to do this, and is asking on the low side for reimbursement. Clearly this means she's doing it for the right reasons. I don't know how we got so lucky!

I was all excited about the lowered amount for her fee yesterday, but now it makes sense. However, she sort of makes up for the money a different way. She really doesn't want to have twins, if it's up to her, but we definitely want to put 2 back since this process is so expensive. The $3K we would "save" on her fee is actually added to the multiples fee - that ONE fee is higher than normal. I can't really fault her for that, everything else is ridiculously cheap apparently and she wasn't a huge fan of multiples to begin with, but she's still going to go through with it, so I guess she decided to make it worth her while. I think it's fair. If we don't end up with twins the price will be lowered and if we do we will be so thrilled anyway! The price goes up even higher for triplets but we would never ever put 3 back in her and the only way to end up with twins would be in one of the embryos split. That has never happened to me (my twins were from two embryos that both implanted) and there are no twins in my family so the chances are not high for that.

I am so grateful I want to email her to thank her but I'm not quite sure how to put it. I'm sure I'll find away throughout this process though.

On the adoption front, no news to report. Almost 5 months into it and there's been practically nothing. If we hadn't been told when our profile is going out (the two times it has) we would have had no contact with the agency whatsoever. The average wait time for them is 9 months - how is that possible if we've barely had anything happen in 5?

1 comment:

  1. So glad that things are moving along so well with surrogacy. She sounds like a nice person, and I'm glad that it sounds like she's doing this for the right reasons.

    Sorry you haven't heard from the adoption agency. I see so many people wait so long after their profile goes out. I don't think it's reflective of you, just how things are right now.