IVF #4 almost done

Ugh, what a week. So much has happened and every day I meant to blog but things were moving practically at the speed of light and there was so much to do.

My cycle was going so well. On Day 6, the day I last wrote, my E2 was 688. They lowered me 112 IU of Gonal F and had me go in for b/w and u/s the next day again. On Day 7 E2 was 1134 but my follicles were still small - the largest around 12 but most between 8-10mm. So they lowered me again to 75 IU and had me come back on Thursday - 2 days later.

On Thursday my E2 was 1839 so it had slowed down but was still increasing, so I didn't think anything of it. My follicles were slightly larger, between 12-15mm (still not ready). My nurse started talking about ER being Sunday or Monday. Shortest cycle I've ever had! This was wonderful! She wanted me to go in again the next day, so I did.

Yesterday, Friday, Day 10, and my ER plummeted. It's just like IVF #2 all over again. It was 1474 yesterday...almost a 400 point drop. Not as bad as when my E2 fell from 1255 to 349 in IVF #2, but it's probably because I went in the next day, and in IVF #2 I was going every other day. I'm so disheartened. Things were going so well. And now this. What is wrong with me???????

The nurse tried to keep things upbeat, but I know she wasn't truthful. I asked her if this was cataclysmic and she said nothing was cataclysmic unless I had already ovulated and they know I haven't. (how they know this I don't know, they have never checked my P4 or LH levels). She said it only meant that my ovaries are telling them they are done - no more stimulation. The problem is that my largest follicle yesterday was only 19..I had a couple over 16...but SO many more still in the 12-15 range. I really wish I could have gone one more day because I think I'm not going to have many fertilized eggs because I didn't go long enough.

IVF #2 started off horribly with the plummet, but in the end it was my best IVF yet, because I got pregnant with twins that cycle. I want to hope the same thing will happen here, but I'm not as hopeful. First of all, I feel like i used up all the good luck during that cycle - what are the chances things will be so good again? Second of all, I stimmed for 13 days that cycle, so I had more time for follicles to grow. I'm a bit afraid they didn't have enough time to grow this cycle at only 9 days stimming so I will most likely have less eggs fertilized. (I had 18 eggs retrieved in IVF #2 and 12 fertilized).

I am pretty sure I will have a bunch of eggs retrieved this time, but I don't know how many will fertilize because so many aren't mature. This sucks.

My only hope is that I am with a hospital who knows what they are doing, and they will hopefully care better for these eggs than anyplace around where I live. So maybe there's a better chance.

But the nurse, after assuring me everything was ok, then asked me, "what are you going to do if the eggs aren't good enough for PGD?"

We're doing PGS, not PGD, but a lot of people use the term interchangeably. And it never occured to me that the eggs might not be good enough. I questioned her on what she meant, and she really meant if we didn't get enough for PGD. We need to have at least 6 fertilized according to Dr. Google. Crap. I don't know. But I wasn't worried, and now I am...sigh...

So they had me trigger last night and retrieval is Sunday. This is all going so fast. The sad part is, I'm wondering if we might have been able to do the adoption for that little boy. If only I had known it would go this fast. It never has before.

I'm now starting to freak out about this not working. All of this money spent for nothing.