Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Last Night

Last night I got an email from Gabby that made me really worry. She said she'd had more brown discharge and had been really crampy, though the cramps had gotten better. I just don't have a good feeling about this. It really made me depressed and I cried most of the rest of the night.

I'm so worried no heartbeat(s) will show on the U/S today. Even though it's still early, they should probably show up by now, so if they don't it probably does not mean good things. And now, I don't know, I feel like even if things look ok today, I'm not convinced they will stay that way for long.

I miss my babies so much. The ones from last year, and the ones she is (hopefully) holding now. I just want one of my own to love, in person. I've been working towards this for so long, with nothing to show for it. I just want this to work one time.

I am quite the mess waiting for today's ultrasound. The foreboding is driving me nuts.


  1. I can't imagine how scary this is. sending you many positive thoughts. x

  2. What a horrible feeling. I hope we hear great news from you later...

  3. Cramping early pregnancy is normal, and many, many people go spot with no ill effects. Nonetheless, I completely understand how alarming it is. Its also so, so hard NOT to be afraid when its YOUR child involved. Praying its all good news from this point on!

  4. I know this is scary for you (*HUGS*) Hoping so much for good news, and holding you all in my thoughts.