Last night I got an email from Gabby that made me really worry. She said she'd had more brown discharge and had been really crampy, though the cramps had gotten better. I just don't have a good feeling about this. It really made me depressed and I cried most of the rest of the night.
I'm so worried no heartbeat(s) will show on the U/S today. Even though it's still early, they should probably show up by now, so if they don't it probably does not mean good things. And now, I don't know, I feel like even if things look ok today, I'm not convinced they will stay that way for long.
I miss my babies so much. The ones from last year, and the ones she is (hopefully) holding now. I just want one of my own to love, in person. I've been working towards this for so long, with nothing to show for it. I just want this to work one time.
I am quite the mess waiting for today's ultrasound. The foreboding is driving me nuts.