Still haven't heard from Gabby. And I am getting upset over it.
I've now spoken with my L (obviously), my closest friends, my mother, the social worker for the gestational carrier cycle and our local infertility counselor about this. I think I'm all talked out, but I keep crying. A few people have said I should reach out to her again, but I'm just like, why? I know this is difficult for her, but I'm the one who has zero control over my babies right now. Why do I have to do everything?
We've gone to emailing/texting a few times a day, to nothing in the last 2 days. I'm sure she's upset too, but she's the one who asked if I wanted to talk about it.
We can't have this type of relationship. I can't deal with this on top of everything else.
Oh no I am so sorry this must be unbelievably hard. Whilst I am not there yet I hope to god one day soon I will be and I know I would feel exactly the same way in this situation. This is one of the reasons I get so mad when people go on about people choosing surrogacy because they are ‘too posh to push’ or whatever. NOONE would choose this way to have a child unless it is their absolute only or absolute final option. We as IMs lose all rights that regular mums to be have, as well as all the rights immediately after too such as names on birth certificate etc. Gabby, I believe is an angel, there are so few women who would have the guts, the courage or the love to do this for someone else, hell none of my friends would even do that for me! She must also feel awful. I would guess she is trying to figure out what she needs to broach with you, how she feels and how she wants to proceed. And then she will contact you I guess. I am so mad that your DR put you both in this position and then was so up in your face the other day. I am so sorry she completely sidelined you, you’re the mother for god’s sake! I would struggle to recover any respect for this DR from that. I wish there was something else I could say. I am thinking of you always.
ReplyDeleteThank you. You put it so well, I agree with everything you said!!!
DeleteBTW, I know it's different over there, but in the state we're doing surrogacy in, we can (and will, at 12 weeks) get a PRE-BIRTH ORDER, which means that when the babies are born, me and L's names will go on the Birth Certificate as mother and father and Gabby's will never go on there! Not every U.S. state does that, but MA does, so that is kind of awesome! We picked a good state!